Snooze-off in the Windy City

Minnesota Vikings 19

Chicago Bears 13

Buried deep under ground, the Chicago Bears offense is the cicada still waiting for its chance to emerge safe from predators and spread its wings for the first time. While some species take up to 17 years of hiding within the earths crust before emerging, Bears fans may be curious if there is some sub species awaiting discovery, as a decent offense every two decades would be greatly appreciated at this point in the franchises timeline.

The Vikings did what they had to do. Like the kid that fell off of the play equipment, it didn't look comfortable, but you're fine and onto the next adventure. Justin Jefferson, Dalvin Cook and Adam Thielen look like a trio of playmakers you can hang your hat on for at least two scores and two hundred yards a week. If Kirk Cousins is an overpaid game manager, you can live with that. Just don't lose the game and we can forget the weekly two hour PR meeting and your agent host about manufacturing another post game sound bite and corresponding merchandise. We do not like that.

With the Packers set in their dominant ways and Detroit unable to find ways to break their fans hearts in the final seconds every week, Chicago might be in last place in the division before Thanksgiving games are played. After a 5 - 1 start, and a statement win against Tampa Bay along the way, Da Bears are in a free fall that might cost Matt Nagy his job; and if he's relying on Tyler Bray to do so, he might want to start getting his CV together and inquire about some references who can vouch for his spotless attendance record.

If "the best defense since '85 Bears" wasn't a slogan thrown around every month for the past 35 years, Chicago might be one of the most depressing franchises in the league. One Super Bowl in the Reagan administration and nothing else to show for themselves. The most memorable player since was a punt returner and their shinning moment - the first 12 seconds of Superbowl XLI. Please disregard the final 59 minutes and change. I understand teams like the Browns and Bengals (and probably the Vikings) would slay their first born for a 40 year old reference to greatness past, but being the 24th most pain-stuck team isn't much fun either.

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- Tyler Bray might just have fooled us all. Before tonight, Mr Bray had accrued over $4M in total salary over his career. He has thrown one NFL pass in his 8 years in the league. He'll be icing his arm for a fortnight after tonight.