Kings Drop Taipans Into Disney-themed Gorge Below

Sydney Kings 99

Cairns Taipans 91

Hanging by a lone claw, the Cairns Taipans were holding on for dear life on Saturday night against the Sydney Kings. As the wildebeests stampeded below, they found themselves staring into the eyes of a familiar foe, just waiting for the final minute before falling to their death in the gorge below. Though mourned by the greater North Queensland community, it should not be years before light touches the reefs edge once again. The Kings live on, but with their current injuries and almost 20 years between glory and present, it's only a matter of time before they themselves are knocked off their own perch and fall victim to the hungry beasts below.

By quarter time both teams had assistants scrambling to local bookstore to purchase dictionaries and search for the meaning of the word 'defense' in this track-meet of a contest. The Sydney Kings were effectively running an elaborate lay-up line for the night, while the Cairns Taipans pick and roll between Scott Machado and Cam Oliver could have put up 50 points between them if not for the foul trouble of Machado at the start of the third quarter that saw him calling a sweaty, disgruntled Queensland cab driver to take him home with five minutes to play.

With Cairns down by 14 points mid-way through the third quarter, Machado went to the bench with his fourth foul and immediately the Taipans cut the lead back down to one by the end of the quarter. Bouyed by Cam Oliver single-handedly trying to murder Craig Moller on two occasions, first missing a 360 dunk before sending Moller to the bleachers on a highlight-of-the-year material slam that will be on every ESPN NBL advert for millennia to come. Kouat Noi hit two big threes in the comeback run, including a four point play, and Mojave King knocked down some timely buckets to make the final stanza an interesting one. Unable to complete the comeback though, they now face Melbourne United while at 1 - 3 on the season, meaning they'll have to learn to dig up out of the hole they've found themselves in.

The Kings hung on in a contest they really should have shut down with 15 minutes left to play, but by the end of the night they were still celebrating Adam Forde's first win as coach of the franchise and the 500th for said franchise to boot. Now, to say Adam Forde is your average looking NBL head coach would be quite the understatement, looking more like a night club bouncer who has invested more then necessary in his local tattoo parlor, he probably isn't paying the same stylist that Lindsay Gaze no doubt spend majority of his income on. Having said that, if he gets the job done for Sydney in the coming years there will no doubt be a small indiscriminate plaque placed on the walls of Quodos Bank Arena bearing his name and likeness, finally confirming that large, tattooed men can get ahead in life after all.

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NBL - Lion King 2021 reference log:

Cairns Taipans - Mufasa; dead, perished, no-more, deceased, ask John Cleese for more.

Sydney Kings - Scar; self-imposed leaders waiting to fall.

Melbourne United - Timon; pretty good, yet can't stand them.

The Hawks - Zazu; loud, annoying, also a bird.

Perth Wildcats - Simba; wake me up when they are below average again.

New Zealand Breakers - Pumba; fun to watch in small doses.

Adelaide 36ers - Nala; lovable, constant, always number two.

Brisbane Bullets - Rafiki; old, wise, excellent background character.

South East Melbourne Phoenix - Hyenas; I have no idea what to expect.