Hekker Fest 2020

Los Angeles Rams 24

Chicago Bears 10

SoFi Stadium was lucky to withstand flames the effigies torched as tribute to the leggy Oregon State educated deity. Beer cans were strewn across the field, urine pooled through the lower decks and countless brawls kicked on thanks to the pure raucous energy of Johnny Hekker. He may well have entered Nirvana during this game, mentally floating through time and space, unfazed by the annoyances of a Monday Night Football prime time match up against the best record in the NFC, graciously placing footballs at will within the 10 yard line. At an absolute minimum there should be a three story gold statue of Hekker's right leg being constructed at the SoFi gates by sunrise tomorrow.

The Rams seemingly ran the equivalent of LAX to Heathrow in lateral movements against this neutered Bears outfit. Individual numbers for the Rams run game won't blow anyone's pants off their hips, but as a whole had the Windy City's defense gasping for air all night. Outside the run game, Jared Goff looked like his usual self, made enough plays to win comfortably, but an absolute drubbing was on the table if he was able to connect on some missed throws. That being said, he didn't throw the game away, made more then enough plays without considerable slumps and kept a pretty stat line along the way.

Chicago has a long flight home tonight. If the offense was requested to take the Greyhound instead, no-one should be surprised. Nick Foles was rattled, the run game never left the station and the O-line was holding on for dear life all game. Only giving up four sacks by the final horn was an achievement in itself, ditto only throwing two interceptions with some Foles bombs more likely cause in a head injury then end in a completion. At a minimum at least the Bears got themselves free tickets to the Hekker show, and you can't blame them for blowing off work and joining in the festivities a little earlier then scheduled.

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- Matt Nagy allowing Cordarrelle Patterson to return any kick off to their own 18 yard line feels like a fireable offense on it own.

- Eddie Jackson's defensive touchdown was an afterthought thanks to the ineptitude of the Bears offense. A written apology should be expected at the very least.

- Nick Foles calling out his head coach to the production team mid week is a spicy tidbit I will take intravenously, thank you.