Five Year Old Takes First Steps On The Banks Of The Ohio River

New York Giants 19

Cincinnati Bengals 17

While most children are starting to accumulate their linguistic skills and comprehend the foundations of arithmetic, an elementary school child, on family holiday in The Queen City, has taken his first steps, much to his family's relief. Unhindered by physical deficiency, the boy's mother describes his late plumage as, "a beautiful character quirk", while the father, when pressed for a response, noted, "a work ethic only a mother could love". Excited by the milestone accomplishment of their only child, the family packed the car in plans to start the 10 hour drive home to New York. Stopping at a local shopping mall before leaving Cincinnati, mum was seen with the boy in a Payless Shoes, while dad was backing the family car into the loading zone of a Dick's Sporting Goods.

The New York Football Giants have learnt how not to lose. With 'learning to win' still unmarked on the bingo card, they'll take what they can get with a 4 -7 win-loss record. In a game with Cincinnati's back up quarter back making his first start as a Bengal, the Giants took care of business, making enough plays on offense and looking downright decent on defense. With a tough schedule down the stretch for the G-Men, this game was essential for them to stay in contention in the toxic garbage island that is the NFC East.

The Cincinnati Bengals did as well as you can expect with the cards they've been dealt recently. With Joe Burrow, the only shinning beacon of hope on this roster, suffering a season ending injury last week, Brandon Allen had little chance of taking over the reins and making this attack soar to new heights. The lack of talent at skill positions and the offensive line is concerning, but makes you realise how much Joe Burrow was keeping this plane in the sky. Without him flying this thing, the best you can hope for is a soft landing in the Andes and hope help arrives long before cannibalism does.

Wayne Gallman's finally got his chance to be a bellcow back. In his fourth year with the Giants, his last chance to prove his worth was in his rookie year under Ben McAdoo, but the drafting of Saquon Barkley rightfully put him on the back burner. Out performing Alfred Morris and Dion Lewis, while watching Devonta Freeman go down with an injury, Gallman has shown shiftiness and power since Barkley was lost for the season in week two against Chicago.

Every Giants fan should be suffering from some degree of baldness due to the head-scratching play of Evan Engram. His ability to go from looking like a generational talent to off-season trade candidate is genuinely impressive. In a close game where his catch and fumble could have been a game-losing play, his 129 receiving yards were a huge reason the Giants are now in a playoff scenario looking back at the division, rather than looking through rivals schedules and calculating win-loss totals from here on out. If nothing else, his resilience from a fan base foaming at the mouth for relevancy is amicably heartwarming.

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- Daniel Jones' injury is troubling, it's hard to see the Giants beating competent teams as is, let alone with Colt McCoy under centre for an extended period of time.

- QB hurries must count for something, ask Leonard Williams' agent how much they're worth this year. He deserves a follow up next year if he hasn't upgraded zip codes.