Dolphins Swim In Desert Nail-biter

Miami Dolphins 26

Las Vegas Raiders 25

Ryan Fitzpatrick was Jack Bauer on Saturday night football in the desert. With 19 seconds left and 40 yards out of field goal range Fitzpatrick stepped up in the pocket, had his facemask yanked with ball still in hand and launched a no look prayer down the left sideline, finding a wide open Mack Hollins for a 34 yard gain out of bounds. In one play a bomb was diffused in seven seconds with Fitzpatrick's neck so twisted he could see the curvature of his own spine before cutting the cord. Saving their season and ending the Raiders in one very on brand play for both sides, how could this have ended in any other way? The terrorists never win in 24 and with Fitzpatrick playing the protagonist, that only leaves the Western based pirate team to fill the role, who might be having the longest day of their new life, some 400 miles from the coastline they used to call home.

If Damon Arnette isn't kicking himself for peaking into the backfield on a play with no running back in the backfield Jon Gruden will be. Next in line for Jon Gruden field goal practice might be the kicker himself Daniel Carlson who missed an extra point to put the Raiders up only six with under four minutes to go. But that kind of sums up Las Vegas this season, do a lot of good and then fall apart at the very end. Going from 6 - 3 to 7 - 8 is the M.O. of the Raiders these last two seasons and Jon Gruden will be thanking his agent for signing him to a 10 year deal as most coaches aren't surviving the three seasons Gruden has had in his return to the Raiders organisation.

The Dolphins may have rewritten the book on playing two quarterbacks and not have one deep in his feelings by full time. Maybe it also helps to have someone with maturity far beyond his years in Tua Tagovailoa and youthful joy for the game in well-traveled veteran Ryan Fitzpatrick. Winning more then you lose is probably a factor too. With one game left in the season, a win next week against the Bills will knock the Ravens out and secure at least the seventh seed, possibly making the Ravens the third 11 - 5 team ever to miss out on playoff action.

Despite the playoff implications off this affair the real story of the night is why in a league with 32 teams we've somehow ended up with two pirate themed teams playing for the last 45 years. Already sporting five bird teams, two horse teams and of course a packing company team, can't there be a little diversity around the league? Having the sea themed Raiders move to an area known for its lack of water is especially on the nose. How about the Las Vegas Kneecappers for the city's rich history of debt collectors or the Las Vegas STD Physicians to honor the rich history of sex workers in the district and their partners in crime who deal with the aftermath. Come on, guys, lets get in a room, bang it out and before you know it the Las Vegas Loan Sharks will be signed to legislature forevermore.

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- Darren Waller is an All-Pro this year at tight end, if Travis Kelce wasn't being himself he's be compared to some of the greats each time he steps onto the field. Thank god he didn't play college basketball.

- Clayton Fejedelem is penciled in for name of the year, still tracking with a week to play, of course.

- Arden Key is third in line for Jon Gruden field goal training after his last second facemask. Gruden must me icing his right foot as we speak.