Bengals Parachute Into Unexpected Territory

Cincinnati Bengals 27

Pittsburgh Steelers 17

The Pittsburgh Steelers' pilots and cabin crew waltzed into work Monday night with what they though was a routine flight. Take off, land and get to bed early. There had been some turbulence over the last two weeks, but stop overs in The City Of Seven Hills haven't been an issue for millennia. Little did they know the Cincinnati Bengals had ulterior motives. As the wheels lifted from the tarmac the Bengals unveiled their plan; take control, make your demand, soar home with a win before things get sticky. With wires sticking from their jackets, the jungle cat team were forcing layovers in uncharted territory. After having their demands met for a big 'ol bag o' cash and a parachute, they had disappeared from the Steelers sight all together. Leaving nothing but a clip-on tie and half a scotch and soda, Cincinnati got back at an old rival while whispering sweet nothings in steel workers ears. 'D.B. Cooper' is what they were told, but Pittsburgh might still be investigating what happened 50 years from now.

Give the Cincinnati Bengals all the credit they deserve for this win. It might not have been pretty, but it was a hard fought, 60 minute trouncing of a division rival off to its best start in franchise history. Down their future franchise quarterback and lead back, the Bengals defense stepped up big from the get go. Batting down 10 passes and hitting Big Ben nine times over the contest, they proved more then just a speed bump against the Pittsburgh offense. Lacking brand name recognition (outside of an aging A.J. Green) the subcontinental tiger cousins forced the Steelers to play catch up early, which at this point in 2020 might be too farcical for the black and gold appalachian area men.

The Pittsburgh Steelers will require medical attention after this one, shooting themselves in the foot from start to finish they might be best served designing kevlar footwear before game-planning for the Colts next week. Ben Roethlisberger was off target deep on all but a few tosses. Third down after third down was lucky to see the ball hit the turf rather than the hands of Bengals defensive backs. There were three chances for interceptions in the first quarter alone, an actual pick in the second and a drop by cornerback William Jackson III in the fourth that had 62 year old I.T. workers showing their significant others how tight the elbows need to be on over the shoulder grabs. If wide receiver drops were the issue hindering the offense the last two weeks, it was QB1 throwing to bright orange jerseys tonight.

Ryan Finley was the difference maker. His numbers may look like the statisticians went on strike at quarter time, eight of seven for 89 yards and a TD, but every one of his 47 yards on the ground were what got Cincinnati over the line. Slow twitch Lamar Jackson sneaked past an over aggressive Pittsburgh defense and took this game from a typical Bengals late game pants browning, to euphoric fever dream in one play. Respect the tape, ignore the numbers. Credit card debt is only a state of mind if you believe in the power of self worth.