Bar fight in the Copper State

Arizona Cardinals 37

Seattle Seahawks 34

Bar stool jousters poked and prodded, glassware rained like hand grenades from the sky and pool cues were snapped over backs in a bar fight that will be heavily journaled by all involved. Four hours of calamity ended with the kiss of a Zane Gonzalez field goal gracing the left upright and continuing through to victory, resting the heads of every Seattleite on the dank, hooch-soaked carpet below. Evenly disfigured, the redder of the two avifauna head home with a grin to pair with two black eyes.

Calamity reigned supreme in this whirlpool of a game. Defenses need not apply during regulation as both teams flowed up and down the field. The lone defensive play of the game was a soon to be pick six by Budda Baker, only to be topped by DK Metcalf sprinting him down in a truly supernatural, horror movie scenario. Budda Baker will be removing his vehicle's rear view mirror and painting over every reflective surface in his home to avoid seeing a tinted visor and navy helmet over his shoulder ever again.

The turnstiles that was both defenses rusted shut by the overtime coin toss. Seattle punted on their first OT possession, Kliff Kingsbury decided to kick a 41 yard field goal that missed wide left on second down and Russell Wilson chose the seldom used lollypop-to-the-other-team trick which set up Arizona with under a minute to get into field goal range again. Kyler Murray then bobble-headed his friends up the field and allowed the aforementioned field goal attempt to strip the paint of the yellow left post.

At over a point a minute this was an entertaining game for anyone not residing on either coaching staff. With more than a thousand yards of offense, four turnovers and a walk-off touchdown waived off by penalty, this was always going to come down to who had the ball last. Luckily for the Desert Based bird gang, with 15 seconds left, they were able to achieve just that.

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- Larry Fitzgerald picking up the ball and running it to the centre for the final minute was genuinely touching and I'm not sure why.

- Having 300 pound humans frivolously chase Russell Wilson and Kyler Murray around seemed like a cruel prank that lasted several hours after it stopped being funny.

- Tyler Lockett had 15 catches, 200 yards and three touchdowns and still manged to be about the 5th most intriguing part of this game.

- The Desert Based bird gang is not to be confused with the Northwestern based bird gang, or the City of Brotherly Love bird gang, or the Georgian bird gang, nor the Edgar Allan Poe themed bird gang, nevermore.